


The Beauty of Alpha Centauri

by PeachGO3



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bad Wolf, Crowley's Fall (Good Omens), F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Happy Ending, Jealousy, Love Confessions, M/M, Picnics, why do you think ten wanted to be ginger so badly hmm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-25 20:45:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19753498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeachGO3/pseuds/PeachGO3
Summary: On their way to Alpha Centauri, an angel and a demon crash into a blue box. Time to catch up on things. Revelations ensue.





	The Beauty of Alpha Centauri

**Author's Note:**

> quick heads-up: TW choking during Crowley’s flashback

Aziraphale dug his nose into the star atlas. He had been studying it for almost ten minutes now. Crowley, in protest, had turned the music louder. ‘Killer Queen’ blasted out into space’s vastness as the Bentley made its way through it. Aziraphale had stopped counting how often that song had played by now.

In the beginning of their journey, Aziraphale had found travelling space to be very, very romantic, a dream come true, and he had admired all the stars and nebulae they passed by with great excitement. This was his first time out here. Crowley had shown him his favourite moons and all the nice views he knew. It was fun to crank down the window and feel the alien winds on his skin. And Aziraphale had packed sandwiches and crêpes from Paris to eat, too. And there were no pedestrians to endanger. It was nice.

But that was three days ago.

“Look, I have got it,” Crowley said after a while.

Aziraphale just hummed and nodded.

“Really,” Crowley tried to rescue his dignity, “it’s just… things look different since I’ve last been here.”

“Turn down the music, please,” Aziraphale begged with a frown. Crowley did. “This is space,” Aziraphale snapped. “Things, as you call them, meaning planets and galaxies, don’t change over the course of a few thousand years!”

“How would you know?”

Aziraphale shifted, refusing to look at the demon. “Why can’t you admit it? We’re lost. It’s as easy as that.”

“We’re not lost,” Crowley hissed in annoyance. “It’s definitely the right direction.”

Aziraphale continued reading (one of his techniques to calm down). “Maybe we should ask someone for directions,” he murmured absently.

Crowley’s mouth dropped open in disbelieve, and he struggled to answer: “Y-yeah, right. Maybe we’ll pass by an astronaut. Are you that bowled over? Or are you just fucking with me by now?” The angel flinched at the cursing. Crowley groaned and turned up the music.

_The machine of a dreaaaam…_

Aziraphale turned it off completely. “What now?” Crowley hissed. “Apologise,” Aziraphale said with thin lips. Crowley grabbed the wheel tighter and gritted his teeth. “What for? For saying the bad word?”

“Crowley,” whined Aziraphale over the music. “I know you’ve been here often before your Fall-”

“What?” yelled Crowley. “You wanna go home? You wanna get out of my car?”

“I rather do!”

“Fine!” And he spun the wheel, making the Bentley turn sharply at the speed of light. Aziraphale held onto the grab handle with widened eyes, his body pressed into the seat. “What are you doing?” he called, but that was the last thing he said, because now, there was a loud crashing noise, lots of light rays, and what felt like an explosion.

* * *

Crowley woke with about the worst headache he’s ever had. He reached upwards. He still _had_ a head, great. Whatever had happened, it didn’t discorporate him. There was sand beneath his hands, and shards of glass. He had to get up. But he hadn’t been alone, had he?

Like coming back into focus, a cutting thought crossed his fogged mind. “No,” he murmured and looked around. “Aziraphale!”

Please, please, no.

Bentley was upside down, crashed in sand, and somehow Crowley made his way out of it. Just when he thought he had to experience the burning bookshop all over again, angelic radiation hit his body. Familiar waves, tickling and comforting – waves of love. Aziraphale was here, he sensed him, like he had always sensed him throughout the millennia. Crowley made his way to the other side of the Bentley, and there was his angel, whining softly as he held his head.

“Angel,” Crowley whispered and got down to hug him. “I’m so sorry. Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Aziraphale didn’t seem half as concerned as Crowley was. The demon let go of him to look at his face. There were a few cuts, but nothing a quick miracle couldn’t change. Crowley laid a weary hand onto the soft cheek.

And Aziraphale smiled. “Why, it’s good to see you’re fine, my dear,” he said. Crowley felt his heart skip a beat at that tender expression. And that gazing into his eyes. Which is when he realised that he wasn’t wearing shades anymore.

“C’mon, angel, let’s get up.”

They looked around. Sand. A few rocks. A bit dark, the sky was too cloudy to see a sun. But it wasn’t Earthly air they were breathing. “Where are we?” Aziraphale asked, brushing off sand from his coat. There were other traces in the sand… “Good question,” Crowley murmured, but Aziraphale had already moved on. “The suitcases!” he sighed. “They’re all over the place. The crêpes…”

“Crêpes?” an unfamiliar voice asked. “Really? You’re worried about crêpes? What is wrong with you, gentlemen? I can’t believe it, oh my god!”

They turned around. A girl – a human girl? – was climbing from one of the rocks. “What were you thinking, turning around like that?” she complained. And now she was stepping towards them. Crowley hid behind Aziraphale. “I am very sorry, miss,” he began, but she stopped him mid-sentence. “You could’ve killed all of us!” she said with a disgusted expression, but then her face softened slightly. “You… were driving a car?”

Crowley blinked. “Yes.”

“A vintage car?”

“A Bentley,” Aziraphale added helpfully. She stepped back, eyes narrowed as she tried to process what she was seeing. “Who are you?” she asked.

Just then, something heavy fell from behind the rock and crashed into the sandy ground. “Oh dear,” Aziraphale murmured, but Crowley took his arm. “No way,” he said.

“What do you mean?”

“Look! Can’t you see what that is?” Crowley asked in excitement. Aziraphale stepped sidewards. “A blue phone box,” he observed. “Last time I’ve seen those was in the nineteen sixties. What is it doing here?”

“He’s here,” Crowley beamed and pulled newly miracled sunglasses out of his jacket.

“He? Who?”

“Do you know him?” the girl asked Crowley, and the box’s door opened. A young man stumbled outside, discombobulated, but not visibly hurt. Aziraphale sucked in a breath. Now _he_ wasn’t human. But he seemed familiar… “No worries, angel,” Crowley smiled conspiratorially, “he’s an old friend.”

“Indeed,” the man called. Then he made a weird sound and raised his head, and Aziraphale couldn’t believe his eyes. It was him, without a doubt it was the Doctor, but he – he looked like –

“Crowley, old serpent!” he greeted with the brightest smile and ran towards them, hugging Crowley so exuberantly that Aziraphale stepped aside with a thin smile. “Doctor,” Crowley greeted, and his voice was full of admiration. When he pulled away and looked at the man, he laughed out loud. “Looking good!”

“Well, so do you,” the Doctor grinned, but his smile died when he noticed Aziraphale standing behind the demon, wriggling his hands nervously, and his expression somewhere between confusion and indignation. “Well, that’s awkward,” the Doctor said and stepped up to him to offer a hand. Aziraphale shook it. “It’s been a long time, Doctor.”

“Yep. You look good as well.”

Aziraphale didn’t react to that. “Where’s that nifty old scarf of yours, my dear boy?” he asked instead.

“Oh, err…” The Doctor’s voice trailed off, but Crowley took over rather quickly. “Wait, do you two know each other?” he asked. The girl next to him chuckled to the ground in mild panic.

“We do,” the Doctor said after a while, but with a bright smile. He put his hands into his coat’s pockets and seemed to look everywhere except Aziraphale. Crowley acknowledged that with a swallowed ‘okay’.

There was some awkward silence before the girl (thankfully) broke it. “Is the Tardis alright, Doctor?” she asked, as if she wanted to be introduced to these new people, and the Doctor got it: “Yes, ahh, I’ll have a look at her right away. Rose, these are Crowley and Aziraphale. Serpent from the Garden of Eden and Angel of the Eastern Gate. Crowley, Aziraphale – Rose Tyler.” He stopped to smile at her. “Bravest human being I know and, luckily, my trusty companion.”

The joy and intimacy with which she returned his smile almost made Aziraphale jump. “Well,” he said, “pleasure to meet you, young lady.” She waved. She was very cute in her dungarees, he thought, and they were very much in love. He gave Crowley an uncomfortably cold side-eye.

“So,” she said and pointed to Crowley, “the Garden of Eden exists. Cool. Okay. And you’re actually a snake?”

“I sort of am.”

“The one that tempted Eve?”

“Great, huh? First Offense. The one and only. Want an autograph?”

Her jaw dropped in excitement. “You’re a monster… But you’re so nice!”

“I guess I am,” Crowley replied, but then Aziraphale suggested they should get all the scattered suitcases before sitting down to talk. He couldn’t take his eyes off the Doctor.

He looked exactly like Crowley. Well, not exactly. He was missing the beautiful amber snake eyes, the crazy ginger hair (although his hair did look fairly crazy) and the… well, demonic flare. And flair as well. Right now, the most prominent thing about him, apart from those terribly ill-fitting clothes, was the immense love he was radiating. And that was like Crowley. But it wasn’t really him. It was the Doctor. Going around and loving people with his two hearts.

Aziraphale supressed a sigh. It was uncanny. Stupid regeneration. He rather liked that multi-coloured scarf.

* * *

After turning the Bentley back onto its tyres and having collected everything, Crowley and the Doctor took a look at the car. Aziraphale just sort of stood there and observed them, chewing a sandwich and listening to the strange sound of the thing the Doctor called ‘sonic screwdriver’. Two times a demon… And they seemed so familiar with each other. Why in God’s name did he look like Crowley? And why did Crowley never mention him if they were such good friends? To be fair, Aziraphale had never mentioned the Doctor either. Still, Crowley seemed to have a deeper connection to him. Just why did they look the same now?

“I’ll look after the Tardis,” Rose Tyler said with a glance at him. Aziraphale nodded politely. She felt redundant, he feared, but he wasn’t all too sad about her leaving for the phone box. “Since when do you use that?” he asked the Doctor as soon as she had turned her back on them.

“Use what?” he asked, still not looking at him. The Doctor had never been one for polite attention, but now he was just refusing to face him. Aziraphale huffed silently. “The blue phone box,” he specified.

“Oh, that’s the Tardis! My ship.”

“You have a ship? A spaceship?”

“Oh, angel, what is it with you?” Crowley teased and got onto his wiggly legs to look at him directly. “You’ve met him, but not seen the Tardis? Or heard it? That moaning and groaning when she sets off to new dimensions of time and space?”

“It’s wonderful,” the Doctor agreed.

“Yeah. How come you’ve not seen her?”

“I guess he never showed her to me,” Aziraphale said with a thin smile and took another bite of his sandwich. It was full of sand. Urgh. Tiny little miracles were such work.

“You crashed her, I’m afraid. When you pulled that crazy manoeuvre,” the Doctor said when he got up to stand next to Crowley (to look exactly the same). “Don’t do that again.”

“I won’t,” Crowley said. “Sorry.”

“Where were you going anyway?”

Silence. Eventually, Aziraphale decided to speak up. “Alpha Centauri,” he said deadpan. “Alpha Centauri?” the Doctor repeated in such a high-pitched voice that Aziraphale almost lost it. Even his voice sounded like Crowley’s.

“Alpha Centauri? That’s way… Uh, nevermind. What happened?”

“We… I – got lost,” Crowley said, straightening up. Aziraphale raised his eyebrows. Crowley was about to apologise! He felt an unangelically smug smile creep onto his face.

“Angel knew that, but I didn’t listen to him,” Crowley said indeed, and he looked only at him. “I’m sorry.”

Aziraphale wiggled contently, smiling. “No worries, dear. Apology accepted.” Crowley looked at him with such regret that he dropped his smug façade. His features relaxed when he added, softlier, “I need to apologise as well. I was being hard on you, my dear. We’re lucky to have gotten off so lightly.”

He heard the Doctor chuckle at that. “I’m glad you’re finally figuring things out,” he smiled.

“Pardon?” Aziraphale asked, sandwich still in his hand.

“You two,” the Doctor said after a while. His brown eyes were just as big and kind as Crowley’s. “Six thousand years in total? That’s really romantic.”

“Six thousand years of what?” asked Aziraphale, but he was still smiling and looking for Crowley’s hand. It felt good to apologise and make up. Instead of taking his hand, the demon went behind him and rested his head on his shoulder, sharp and warm, to face the Doctor. “Of our relationship, angel,” he mumbled for clarification.

Aziraphale’s eyes widened. “You knew about us? The Arrangement?” he asked.

“I guess so,” the Doctor said sheepishly. Crowley intervened. “Maybe you two should talk a bit, hm? Catch up on things and such,” he suggested as his angular head left Aziraphale’s shoulder. “I’ll check on Rose Tyler in the meantime.”

“Crowley, dearest,” Aziraphale said to him as he left, “when will we be able to travel on?”

“Soon, when the ship’s ready,” Crowley called back, wiggling his way to the phone box.

“He will never learn how to work his hips, huh,” the Doctor joked.

“Never,” Aziraphale agreed lovingly, only to realise he was now alone with the Doctor, a man he thought he knew. A man that was now looking like the demon he had already felt coming apart beneath him. Awkward. He finished his tomato sandwich and licked his fingers, ready to stand in silence.

However, when Crowley opened the Tardis’ door about twenty metres away from them, Aziraphale felt a sting in his chest. A sting of… well, love, as it were, but a kind of love that smelled of petrol and old leather seats. And alien winds.

“Is the Bentley all right?” he asked.

“Yeah,” the Doctor said, leaning against the car. “We repaired it.”

“Yes, it looks the same,” Aziraphale said, “but something seems different.” It suddenly seemed, well, alive, for the lack of a better term. Feeling. “How peculiar,” Aziraphale murmured.

“He’s taken great care of that car,” the Doctor said with respect.

“He really loves it. It has accompanied him for almost one hundred years. I was very impressed by it when I first saw it in 1941,” Aziraphale remembered, fondly so. Another sting, like a joyous jab. Aziraphale chuckled. “What happened?” he asked.

“What do you mean?” the Doctor murmured, and his eyes narrowed in curiosity – that excited, invested curiosity that was very much his own. Aziraphale, proud to be given the opportunity to explain something to a Time Lord, straightened up to say, “Well, you can call me a bit zany, my dear boy, but I rather think the car has developed feelings.”

“Feelings?” the Doctor repeated, folding his arms in investment.

“For lack of a better term,” Aziraphale smiled. “And I sense something alien radiating off of it, too.”

The Doctor’s jaw dropped. “Ohh. That might’ve been the Tardis.”

“Your ship?”

“Yes.” Suddenly, he was very brusque. Aziraphale shifted. Those rays… Was that jealousy? Amazing! “Well, I suppose the crash had some fall-out,” he sang.

“When you crashed her,” the Doctor said with a glance at his ship, “we were travelling the stream of time, as we always do. Without any interference.”

Aziraphale hummed in amusement as the Doctor gave the Bentley a mean look. “Travelling since months and nothing happened. And now this. It’s calibrating its matrix. Means that car might’ve got a taste of Gallifreyan time streams in its system.”

“Oh,” said Aziraphale, who had only listened to the first part. Travelling with that girl he loves so much? He wondered where they had been going to before the crash. He decided to drop his unangelic attitude and said, “I am really sorry that we put a spoke in your wheel. Time stream. Whatever, you know what I mean.”

The Doctor side-eyed the Bentley a last time. “Oh, it’s nothing,” he then smiled. “At least we can see each other again. What are the odds?” He flashed him a bright smile – and looked so, so much like Crowley. Aziraphale sighed.

The Doctor looked to the sandy ground. “I know. I should probably explain,” he murmured.

* * *

Crowley had missed the Tardis. The interior had changed quite a bit since his last visit, but he liked it. “Still bigger on the inside! How you doing, old girl?” he asked, stroking the door frame. Rose Tyler, who was about to unknot some cables, laughed at him. “So you two do have a history,” she joked happily, and Crowley couldn’t help but smile. She was bright and larksome. Toothy grin. He quite liked her.

“It’s not me she’s casting her covetous eye on,” he said, strolling up to Rose.

“Really? Who could it be then?”

The Tardis’ console blinked in excitement. Crowley smirked. “He’s not an easy catch, love,” he told her in the voice of a strict dad, to which the console cracked. “Who? Your partner?” Rose asked, mouth opened.

Crowley’s mouth curled downwards. “Partner? No! Err, we’re… not married. No, I mean the, err, car.”

“She's in love with the car?” Rose asked, not minding the first part of his answer.

“Yes,” Crowley confirmed, “it’s radiating off of her. Swirling in her matrix.”

Rose laughed in wonder. “You can feel her emotions?”

“Occult,” Crowley just said and pointed to himself.

“Wow. What else can you do?” she asked. “Can you turn back into a snake?”

“I could,” Crowley said, stopping right next to her. “But that’s reserved for cuddles with the angel. Don’t tell him though.”

She snickered and bit her bottom lip. “So, you two are… together?”

“Eh, you could call it that,” he said, looking around in the ship. It was so calm and lovely in here. He had missed that soft roaring. It made him relax. “You still owe me an autograph,” Rose reminded him. She held out a lined paper for him.

“Oh,” he said, “that would probably burn away. I’ll send you one on demonic paper.”

She laughed in disbelief. “Okay then.” She strolled to her bag but decided to crumple the paper instead. “Rose Tyler,” Crowley said absently. “It’s refreshing to have someone so understanding of the concept of real angels and demons.”

“Well, I guess I’ve already seen a fair bit of crazy stuff,” she said.

“Numb already?”

“Not at all. I just enjoy travelling with him and discover new things. He’s already met the devil, so demons seem like the next logical step,” she said, putting to cables down to watch Crowley observe the console.

“You look exactly like him,” she whispered, “you’re just as tall and slender as him.”

“Hm?”

“You sound like him, too. You look so eerily alike – except for the eyes, of course,” she said, and Crowley painfully remembered that she had already seen him without sunglasses. “And you rock that ginger hair. No wonder he wanted that, too.”

“Did he?” Crowley asked in amusement. Old two-hearted begrudger.

She leaned against the console. “So… God exists?” she asked quietly.

“She does, oh, yeah. Alive and kicking.”

“She?” Rose asked. “Wow, that’s…” She shook her head and laughed. “Wow. I wonder what she has in store for me. I kinda want to know – but I probably shouldn’t ask, should I?”

“I wouldn’t know anyway,” Crowley said truthfully.

“Can you talk to her?”

“I could,” Crowley uttered. Almost, he would’ve said ‘once’, but he stopped himself just in time. She nodded. “Tell me about it,” she whispered. “The Garden of Eden. Paradise. How is it?”

“Was,” Crowley corrected.

“Oh, yeah, right. Feel like turning into a snake now? Maybe?”

“No.”

“What a shame!” She grinned at him. His face softened. “You’re not afraid at all, are you? Not in the least?” he wondered. “Why should I?” she shrugged. “You’re a friend of the Doctor.”

“Point taken,” Crowley said and placed his body on her left. “I first met him in one of his earlier versions. We kept bumping into each other. I guess it was because I was causing trouble and he was there to clean up the mess.”

She laughed in investment, so Crowley continued, “And we talked, oh, did we talk. Through whole nights. I told him about the angel someday. That I would share deeds with him now, and so the Doctor had to look after an angel, too.”

“I see,” Rose said with an important look on her face. Crowley crossed his arms. “So, where should I begin? The Garden was nice. Plants all over, really sweet. A nice pond. And Eve was nice to be around. Such a considerate, bright young woman.” He adjusted his shades. “But Eden was a prison. Great wall all around it. They couldn’t get out. They didn’t even _know_ there was an outside.”

“And that’s where you came in,” she said.

“Correct.”

“And Aziraphale? Did he fight you? Enemies to friends?”

Crowley shuddered at the mental image. “I was lucky he didn’t. Would’ve pulverised me.”

“Oh.”

“Besides, he wasn’t much of a fighter that day. Was a bit gloomy, well, very gloomy, and I wanted to cheer him up. He had given away his sword. The flaming sword, can you imagine?” He laughed at the memory. “Out of compassion. Out of love, really, he’s an angel after all.”

“But wasn’t he the Guardian of Eden?” Rose asked. “Shouldn’t he have stopped Adam and Eve from leaving?”

“No. Actually, he was tasked with casting them out after the Incident. But he gave them the sword anyway, just for their safety.”

“Wow.” She thought for a moment. Then she asked, “Shouldn’t he have stopped _you_ in the first place? From making Eve eat the apple.”

Crowley chuckled. He couldn’t help but smile. “Technically, yes. But he was off nibbling figs by the pond, so…” They laughed in unison, a bright and warming sound that echoed from the Tardis’ metal walls. Crowley couldn’t take his eyes off Rose. “Fell for him that day. Argh, I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this,” he wondered, trying to keep his cool. He’s never talked to anyone about the Beginning, not even to Aziraphale. But he trusted Aziraphale, because he’s been on Earth for just as long as he has, and because this bastard angel just happened to be the one he fell in love with, there and then, when he told him he’d given away the sword. Aziraphale has seen so much. As has the Doctor. Maybe that was the reason Crowley resonated with them so well.

And here – there was something similar about Rose Tyler. He just couldn’t put his finger on it.

She shrugged. “Even if you don’t know why – I’m glad you shared that with me. Always nice to hear how a love story unfolds. I won’t tell anyone, promise.”

Crowley snorted at her choice of words, but then he got pondering again. She was glowing, shining with something unhuman, but it was only an afterimage. “What is it about you, Rose Tyler?” he asked thoughtfully. What was that after-glow? It felt familiar.

Rose looked down. “What do you mean? Oh, your voice sounds an awful lot like his.”

Crowley backed off a little. “So,” he then said, “you two are having a nice time travelling around, aye? You like him?”

“Who doesn’t?” she shrugged with a smile and stroked some blond hair behind her ear.

“No. No, I mean, like” – he gestured vaguely – “ _like_ -like him. Hm? Come on, you can tell me.”

“Are you trying to tempt me, Mr Crowley?” she asked, laughing.

“Probably. Occupational disease, don’t take it personal. So, where were you travelling to?”

She shifted and nodded in understanding. “Let’s see… He had shown me a planet in the Siren Galaxy. Pretty far away. There were giant rays floating in the air. They almost looked similar to the ones on earth, they just weren’t swimming in water. They swam in the atmosphere instead. He wanted to show me a similar planet next, with jellyfish in ther air.”

Crowley almost jumped from the love she was radiating. But instead he said, “From the look on your face I infer you enjoyed it.”

She beamed at him. “I did!” Her eyes wandered between his. “Mind taking those off?” she asked.

“Rather not.”

“Okay then.” She clapped her hands. “We should continue to repair the Tardis. Could you help me with the cables, please?”

Crowley groaned, but the console squeaked in anger.

“I guess you owe her,” Rose said and bit her tongue in a playful gesture. She was a bit of a demon herself, Crowley thought, a bit of a bad girl. He swaggered towards the cable clutter to help her with a quick miracle. Oh, she would surely ask about miracles. She’d love them.

* * *

“That’s actually crazy.”

“But it happened, that Saturday. We think. We cannot remember the details for some reason,” Aziraphale said thoughtfully. They sat inside the Bentley, listened to Queen and watched the grey clouds wander the alien sky as they talked. “Is this place inhabited?” Aziraphale asked.

“Don’t know,” answered the Doctor, biting a big junk of his sandwich. Aziraphale nodded. He had found to enjoy his company. He had never spent so much time with the Doctor before. They still disagreed on some things (“What is it that you don’t like about pears, dear boy?”), but overall, the Time Lord’s company was quite enjoyable. Rose must think so too, but for different reasons, surely.

“I don’t know whether this planet is inhabited or not,” the Doctor continued, “because I haven’t got around to check where we are at all.”

“Oh,” said Aziraphale.

“But if it were, I’m sure we would’ve been discovered by them already. So – don’t worry,” he smiled.

“When you check,” Aziraphale attempted politely, “would you be so kind as to look up the directions for Alpha Centauri?”

“Sure!” he beamed, and Aziraphale felt himself flush a bit as he thanked him. By now, he was sure this reincarnation of the Doctor had just modelled himself after Crowley, there was no other way they’d look so similar. Only the Doctor was… well, the Doctor. Kind-hearted. Two-hearted, for that matter. His smile was so bright, so angelic – but Crowley could smile like that, too, Aziraphale reminded himself.

He exhaled, and the Time Lord seemed to read his mind. “Go ahead. Address the elephant in the room,” he prompted. His brown eyes were fixated on the angel now, eying him with greatest care as he chomped his sandwich.

Aziraphale sighed. “Very well. So, would you please tell me… I can’t believe I’m asking this – why you look exactly like Crowley?”

“Haha,” the Doctor made, grinning wildly, “your beloved Crowley. He noticed right away, but he’s taken it as a joke. Bolstered his self-esteem a fair bit, I suppose.” He snickered a bit before lowering the sandwich and looking into the middle distance, suddenly very earnest. Aziraphale gave him some time to sort his thoughts.

“I cannot control my regeneration,” the Doctor then said. “It happens when it has to, to save me, and sometimes I can hold it back for a little longer, but…” He sighed. “Anyway. I’ve always thought of it as a lottery. Totally random. Turns out that isn’t quite right. The song is fitting,” he joked and pointed to the Blaupunkt, which was now playing ‘Who Wants To Live Forever’. Aziraphale felt him melt into melancholia.

“I must probably tell you how I regenerated the last time,” he said, and Aziraphale nodded to encourage him. “We were fighting the Daleks – yet again, I know – and Rose…” His voice trailed off. Aziraphale wanted to comfort him, like angels did, and laid his hand onto his. Love and assurance flowed through it. The Doctor allowed it, closing his eyes as he sought the comfort. He was so starved, Aziraphale couldn’t help but notice. Something was troubling him, making him restless. A trauma.

“Rose,” the Doctor suddenly blurted out, “she came back to rescue me. I had sent her back home with the Tardis. Aziraphale, I was ready to accept my punishment.” His eyes twitched behind his lids, opening. “But she came back. She destroyed the Daleks and saved me and the future version of Earth. Saved all of us.”

“How did she do that?” wondered Aziraphale, gently rubbing his thumb on his big hand, the hand that looked like his demon’s.

“The Bad Wolf,” the Doctor said and turned his head. “She created herself. She looked into the Tardis’ heart, into the stream of time. Absorbed it and came back to me. She became a Time Goddess to protect the ones she loves.” He shifted. “She succeeded. But she could not stay the Bad Wolf, the energy would’ve destroyed her. I had to take that from her, take that massive amount of sheer time energy from her still human body.”

Flashes of a kiss flew through Aziraphale’s touch – their first kiss. He smiled at the picture.

“I’m glad I did it,” the Doctor said, smiling at the memory. “It’s still somewhere inside her, but at least it’s not killing her anymore. But the energy was too much for me to handle. And so – the same old song,” he said with a tired gesture. He had relaxed into the seat so much that he almost slouched as much as Crowley always did.

Just in that moment, the next Queen song played. It was ‘Somebody To Love’. “Ohh, I like this one,” the Doctor exclaimed. He laughed. “Anyway, Aziraphale – what I wanted to tell you is – put simply, this regeneration was formed by my… feelings for Rose.”

“Love,” said Aziraphale, tenderly squeezing his hand. He was full of love indeed.

The Doctor stared into the middle distance and hummed. “This is the culmination, the result of these feelings,” he said after a while and looked down his body. “The Tardis knows all of time and space, endless and wide, eternal-” He stopped to smile at Aziraphale, all gently and blissful. “Would only make sense for her to look for the single most enormous amount of love she could possibly find.”

His hand twitched, and Aziraphale faltered.

“You look so puzzled,” the Doctor laughed and picked up his sandwich again. “You love each other this much,” he assured him. Aziraphale looked up – and those were Crowley’s eyes, just not…

“So this is what love looks like?” he asked quietly.

The Doctor nodded, chewing his sandwich with great care. Aziraphale exhaled and fell back into the seat. The Doctor’s tenth incarnation looked like him and Crowley? Because they loved each other so much? Was this guy messing with him?

“I’m telling you the truth, Aziraphale.”

He almost flinched. His breath was unsteady. “Great. Jolly good, yes, thank you.” He shifted. “But what about Rose?” he then asked, almost panicking about having lost the touch connection. He craved it.

“What about her?” the Doctor asked.

“Does she know?” Aziraphale swallowed and tried to convey the urgency as well as steady his pulse. “If the universe really modelled you after your love for her, then she deserves to know that.”

The Doctor leaned back. “Oh, she knows.”

“How does she know?”

“She knows, I know.”

Aziraphale could’ve flipped a table. “Doctor, for Heaven’s sake, get a grip,” he snapped, making the Time Lord scrunch his nose in irritation. Aziraphale adjusted his posture before continuing, “You ought to tell her what you’re feeling for her.”

The Doctor’s face hardened, and he looked out the windscreen again.

“Do you love her?” Aziraphale asked.

The Doctor closed his eyes. “Yes.”

“There you go. Now promise me that you will tell her.”

“It does not need saying.”

“It rather does! It makes a huge difference, take it from me.”

“How could I,” the Doctor began his protest, “say that to her face, only to tell her next that I’d have to watch her die? Heh? Not everyone is blessed with immortality, Aziraphale!”

“Immortality is not as fun as it sounds,” Aziraphale said and pressed his lips together to calm down. Bloody hell, he even sounded like Crowley when he was angry. For a few moments, they did not say anything.

_Anybody, anywhere, anybody find me somebody to love love love…_

Aziraphale exhaled. “I understand your struggle, my dear boy, I really do. The three words are anything but easy to say.” He attempted a smile. “But one tip from the unlucky winner in hesitating-for-too-flipping-long… Don’t.” He sighed, and he sounded like he hated himself when he concluded, “You’ll miss your chance and regret it for as long as you live.”

Still distraught, the Doctor returned the smile. “I’ll think about it. Thank you.” He put his big hand on top of Aziraphale’s soft one. Then he said, “Must’ve been tough, huh? For six thousand years?”

“Well,” Aziraphale murmured, unprepared to talk about himself.

“Since when have you loved him?”

Aziraphale shook his head. “I’m not sure. I can’t remember, to be honest with you.”

The grey clouds seemed to part. They looked out the windscreen while the next Queen song started playing, the Mozart strings still somewhere in it.

_This thing called love, I just can't handle it_  
_This thing called love, I must get round to it_  
_I ain't ready_  
_Crazy little thing called love_

* * *

“That was quick! Thank you,” Rose said with astonishment. She did love miracles, and Crowley was pleased with himself and the cables. The Tardis was, too. Her roaring was approving and relaxed. “You’re welcome,” Crowley said and patted the metal console.

“So,” Rose began, “we should tell the Doctor to check everything.”

“We better do. You mustn’t miss the jellyfish,” Crowley said with a smile. Rose packed her things and asked, “Do you know how faraway that planet is?”

For a brief moment, Crowley wondered whether or not that was rhetorical. “Err,” he uttered, “no, I don’t. I don’t know where those jellyfish are. What planet is it?”

“He hasn’t told me yet,” Rose said and blew a wisp of hair out of her face as she eyed him. Crowley shifted. “Sorry for asking. I just thought a demon as sussed as you would know,” she apologised.

“I am… sussed,” Crowley defended himself, but he didn’t really mean it.

“I never doubted that,” Rose smiled, “you seem really competent.”

Crowley wheezed. He was anything but competent. Rose noticed his sentiment and stepped closer. “Are you alright?” she asked, her strange radiation getting stronger. It drew him in with its otherworldliness. Crowley couldn’t help but tell her about his past.

“You know, I am quite sussed. I know a thing or two about stars,” he said, sniffing. “I helped build them.”

Rose’s eyes narrowed. “Build? The stars?”

“I helped create the night sky,” Crowley said again, and this time around his chest tightened in pain. “Oh,” was all Rose answered. Crowley was thankful for it. She did not ask any further.

Aziraphale was right. Back in the car he had behaved like an asshole, probably to compensate for his… trauma. Building stars and galaxies had been fun. It was a glorious task that Crowley had enjoyed so much that he never wanted to leave again. Space was calm, cool and peaceful. A place to come back to. Crowley remembered the warmth of the shining nebulae between his fingers every day – it may well have happened yesterday. The days before the… before he…

“Hey,” he heard Rose say, softly. She had stepped closer and was about to take his hand, but Crowley drew it away. She understood. She looked down before asking, “Where did you want to go? In the car, I mean.”

“To a place I knew before,” Crowley said, drifting off. “Double star system. In Andromeda Galaxy. Lonely and lush with nice planets. Especially in this time of the year. The angel would love it there. Perfect refuge.”

She nodded despite her confusion.

Andromeda Galaxy. So colourful. He had a place there, something that vaguely felt like a home. There was no judging, no restraint, just pure creativity and creation. Crowley had loved it. And before he knew it, he had been pulled away, sucked into the echo of Michael’s blast when she had cast Lucifer out of Heaven. Leaving a half-created star to collapse in a black hole. He would never forget its weeping as it destroyed itself.

Speed of light, headlong, burning and cutting his wings and soul, he Fell. He was dunked into boiling, acrid sulphur. Burning his eyes. Drowning. Pulled out violently, thrown into a corner. There he was, naked and alone in the dark, and felt his tongue crawl out of his mouth. It moved on its own, was thick and forked, and it was choking him. He felt himself twist, twist, twist, unable to stand up. Gravity pulled him down to the icy ground. He heard his friends scream in pain, somewhere in the distance. He had to scream, too. But he was suffocating.

“Hey,” Rose said again. He was back in the Tardis. He shivered. “Mr Crowley,” she said softly, “is there anything I can do for you?”

He searched for her eyes. They were brown and kind, but there was still that glimmer behind them. He could feel it, he could smell it. She smelled of the universe. And of time. Who was she? How old was she?

“Alpha Centauri,” he blurted out, making her flinch. “That’s where we’re going. Alpha Centauri.”

“Are you alright?” she asked again, but he was already turning away. Crowley moved his head in a vague gesture. He was so tired all of a sudden. He wanted to leave. “Come on,” he said and went outside.

* * *

The picnic blanket was soft on the sand. They just sat there and talked and ate and drank for hours. The sky had cleared to reveal its beautiful colours – all possible shades of blue. It looked amazing. And the crêpes the angel had made were delicious. “The best ones I ever ate,” Rose smiled in disbelief. “They are so good, oh my god.”

“Please,” the Doctor scolded her, but Mr Aziraphale told her not to worry. “Excuse my language,” she apologised anyway. Better not to antagonise the Almighty. Especially not now that Rose knew he was a she.

“The crêpes are actually made from a recipe I got from a cook in Paris,” Aziraphale explained. “They’re exquisite, my dear, you are absolutely right to say so. To die for, quite literally. I got into the French Revolution just for these.”

“You went to Paris during the French Revolution?” the Doctor asked in a high-pitched voice.

“Yes,” Aziraphale said after side-eying Crowley, but the demon was fast asleep. Rose wondered if he had scolded the angel in the same way before. He seemed at peace now. She snickered behind her hand. “Do you like Paris? Have you ever met the Marquise de Pompadour?” she then asked.

“I actually have,” Aziraphale remembered with a smile.

Rose grinned and gave the Doctor a knowing look. He returned it. “She was an amazing woman. We’ve met her, too,” she said proudly.

“Very clever and headstrong woman indeed,” Aziraphale agreed and sipped his tea. “She would tell me about a strange man who kept visiting her in her dreams. Nobody but me believed her.”

Rose’s jaw dropped. “No way! That was you,” she laughed and playfully jabbed the Doctor, who fell against her side as she snickered. She adored this – talking to an actual angel and exchanging anecdotes with him. An angel! She had no doubt he was an angel. Mr Crowley had his demonic eyes and Mr Aziraphale had this bright blond hair. And angelic kindness, even though she had found he would make quite mean comments from time to time, just as Mr Crowley would be very sweet and caring.

Rose helped herself to another crêpe. “Mr Crowley told me about Paradise and how you two met,” she said.

“Did he?” Aziraphale asked with a sweet smile toward his demon.

Rose started playing with her hair as she remembered the conversation. “I would’ve never guessed angels and demons could be friends. Or lovers,” she admitted, careful not to tell Mr Aziraphale everything Mr Crowley had told her in secrecy. She would keep his secrets. Maybe, if the demon could get round to it, he would tell his angel on his own sometime soon.

“Tale as old as time. The world isn’t just black and white, as you see,” the Doctor said and slung an arm around her. “These two are the original Romeo and Juliet.”

“Beatrice and Benedict,” Aziraphale muttered under his breath as he took a sip from his thermos flask, but he smiled. Crowley was sleeping next to him, leaning against his side with all his weight, absorbing the angel’s warmth, as it seemed. “There he is, the snake,” Rose teased, but it was all good-natured.

They helped the odd couple to pack, even though celestial miracles made everything rather easy. The Bentley’s engine roared sadly as they prepared to part their ways. “She will miss you,” Rose heard the Doctor say to it before they went to the window.

“Thank you so much,” Aziraphale said yet again, making Crowley roll his eyes beside him.

“Don’t mention it,” the Doctor said. “You sure you don’t wanna travel via Tardis?”

“No, thank you. My dear boy, you’ve already done enough,” Aziraphale said with a smile. He reached out of the window to squeeze the Doctor’s hand. Crowley exchanged an annoyed look with Rose, making her snicker. These two behaved very married, even if they weren’t actually husbands.

“Have a safe journey then,” the Doctor said and stepped back.

“It was fun meeting you. Enjoy your stay in Alpha Centauri,” Rose said and waved them. “Do you have the coordinates?” Aziraphale whispered to his partner, but Crowley just turned on the music (Rose recognised ‘Another One Bites The Dust’) and put down his foot. The Bentley started driving, but suddenly changed the music to the same singer proclaiming “I was born to love you!” when it passed by the parked Tardis. Rose laughed. How cute!

They waved as the car ascended into the blue sky with clatter and some magic sound Rose could not quite pin down. “Bon voyage!” she called after them. And somewhen, the car had disappeared into a tiny black dot in the sky. She had seen suns die, the orbit of a black hole and pre-revolutionary France in a spaceship. And now she’s seen a vintage car travelling space. What an odd couple… an angel and demon. It was very romantic, really. And the whole day she had had this one thought, this wish inside her head – that she wanted something like this, too.

She sighed and took the Doctor’s hand. “And now?” she smiled. “What about us?”

He grinned. “We could stay here in the dry sand desert on this uninhabited Planet C-176b. Or,” he said with a crooked head, “we could watch the great migration of the Star Jellyfish to New Abramovich. Your choice.”

“Hmm,” Rose mused, “actually, I do like it here. In the sand. Made the crêpes all crunchy. Cronch-cronch.”

The Doctor’s smile died. “What?”

“I’m joking,” she laughed and pushed him away. “Come on, let’s visit those jellyfish!”

He joined her laughing and let himself be pulled by her hand in his.

Back inside the Tardis, she was ready to fly off, but the Doctor said he was looking for something important first, so she sat down next to the console and closed her eyes, thinking of the things she had learned today.

Firstly, the Tardis could get involved in car crashes. Who would have thought? But she had made her way through. Apparently it did not hurt that the accident perpetrator was a handsome vintage Bentley. That was the second thing she’d learned: Cars could develop feelings and even fall in love with spaceships. That was new.

God was real. And not only was he – she, sorry! – real, she used female pronouns. An angel would know after all.

Angels existed. Demons existed, too. They created the stars. They are hereditary enemies, but that’s an unreachable ideal from the world of propaganda. In fact, they could get along quite well. They could even fall in love with each other.

Rose watched the ceiling. The Doctor was her angel, in a way. Fell from the sky onto earth to show her wonders and miracles. To love her. Did he love her? Urgh, she hated that question. She thought about it far too often. This was an alien after all, hundreds of years old. He’s seen so much. One human girl couldn’t possibly leave that much of an impression. Or did she? He smiled at her like the angel smiled at his demon and vice versa. He hugged her so tightly. He took her hand to squeeze it. Did aliens do that when…?

She shifted on the sofa, lying down. She wanted to live with him. She should tell him today.

What was he doing down there anyway?

She was close to falling asleep when she finally heard his steps on the metal stairs. Rose shifted, grunting into the cushion beneath her. It smelled of him. But he did not seem to notice that she was not in fact sleeping. His steps had stopped. And she heard him sigh.

Slowly, she stretched out and yawned, straightening herself up. “There you are. Have you found what you’ve been looking for?” she asked casually.

But his face was so hard and earnest. “No,” he said. “Or rather – I’m not sure.”

Normally she would’ve accepted that as an answer and gone right to the control console, but right now the Doctor looked so distraught that Rose was actually worried about him. “Are you alright?” she asked cautiously, stepping closer. He sniffed and turned away, hands in his pockets.

“Hey,” Rose said and took his arm, “talk to me. What was that thing you’ve lost? I’ll help you look for it.”

He turned to face her, suddenly softening, melting even. She gasped as he brought a hand up to her face. “Oh, Rose,” he said, brows furrowed with a sad smile. Then she felt his other hand on her hip. She laughed unsurely. “What is it?” she asked, but his face did not give her an answer. Something was very wrong.

“Talk to me,” she said again, but this time her voice almost broke. She wanted to be held like this, she wanted this moment to last. Allowing herself one moment of self-indulging, she leaned forward, resting her body against his, embracing him tightly. “There is no thing you’ve lost, is there,” she whispered against his chest, inhaling his familiar and yet alien smell. Listening to his hearts beat. Rapid.

“Yes, there is,” he answered, and his warm voice vibrated in his chest.

“What is it then?”

He pulled her away gently. “Okay, not very accurate of me,” he said, and his voice had normalised at least a bit. “I’ve never actually had it. I realised that today.”

“Oh,” she said and nodded, stroking hair out of her face. He smiled at her as if to cheer her up.

“Have you been dreaming something nice?” he asked and took a glance at the sofa.

She laughed at that. “Yeah,” she said, only half-lying, “something very nice. Beautiful dream.” You, she added in her head, you are my beautiful dream. No one else is as beautiful as this. But the Doctor did not hear that, of course. He just nodded and looked like someone who was struggling to phrase their next sentence, lips parted. “What was it about?” he finally asked.

Rose smiled. “Angels. Paradise.”

“Eden?” the Doctor asked. “You know, there is actually a planet that is called Eden. We could go there, if you like. Whenever you want to go. We could go there right now, just say it.”

“But then we’d miss the jellyfish,” said Rose. Oh, this was ridiculous. But the Doctor’s breath finally slowed down. And something changed in his brown eyes.

Rose braced herself without knowing if it was necessary. Her stomach hurt. But he must’ve understood by now, mustn’t he? She shook her head and held it in her hand for a while. Then she realised she was probably being unfair. It wasn’t her turn to speak.

Like a cue, she looked up to fixate his eyes. The Doctor sucked in a breath, and then he laughed in relief. As if a rock had been rolled off his lean back, tears wobbled down his face, but the only thing Rose could do was join his laughing, as she always had. She pulled him closer by his jacket as she got up on her toes, feeling his warmth.

“I suppose,” he said with his voice cracking, “that this is my chance to say it.”

Rose nodded, nose brushing his cheek. Anticipating. Oh god, this was happening.

“Rose Tyler, I…” He wept. And then he said, “I love you.”

“I love you!” Rose exclaimed. She flung her arms around his neck as soon as the words had left her lips – she had been hoping for this so badly, her whole body was glowing. She laughed against his neck, let herself be hugged back so tightly, tears flowing freely. Tears of joy.

When they pulled away, smiling brightly at each other, beaming like suns, Rose pulled him down by his head. And she embraced him as she locked their lips in a deep, cathartic kiss. And, thank god, he kissed her back, pulled her even closer, let his hands roam her as she made a mess of his already messy hair. He even let in her tongue, he let her deepen the kiss, until they needed to part for air.

“Beautiful,” she whispered, breathlessly, eyes closed.

“Quite right,” he replied, and not only could she hear the smile in his voice, now she could feel it on her skin.

* * *

“He told me she kissed him when her body had been possessed by someone else,” Aziraphale recalled as he threw another strawberry into his mouth. “And quite vigorously so. Because the possessor saw her love for him.”

“Well, she’s got the hots for him, as the kids say,” Crowley joked.

“Stop it with your shit-eating grin, you old serpent,” Aziraphale scolded him. “They love each other very dearly.”

“Yeah, all right. I know. I’ve seen her look at him,” Crowley said, taking another sip of the rosé.

“Anyway,” Aziraphale said, recollecting his thoughts, “what I wanted to say was that, to this day, he doesn’t know if that was her kissing him like that, or the possessor. Practically ravishing him. Imagine we would’ve made such a mess during the body swap.”

“Ravishing, is that the word he used?” Crowley laughed. He fed Aziraphale another strawberry.

“His current reincarnation,” Aziraphale said absently, “is the universe looking around and finding us.”

“Hm? What do you mean?”

“He told me,” Aziraphale smiled, caressing Crowley’s hair, “that his love for Rose made him transform into that. Into, well, you.”

“Oh,” said Crowley, “I thought it was because he found me good-looking.”

“No,” Aziraphale laughed, and Crowley looked up at his angel. He melted against his snickering body and bathed in its love waves, pulsating, relaxing further and further. He snuggled up against him and nuzzled Aziraphale’s soft neck with his nose. And they gazed into the wide universe above them, thousands upon thousands of stars smiling down on them in the brightest colours. And the jungle whispered all around.

Crowley hissed. “I’m so happy, angel. I could kiss you right now.”

“What’s holding you back?” Aziraphale hummed and let himself fall back onto the picnic blanket, taking Crowley with him, so that the demon’s ginger head was hovering over him. Amber eyes shining in the starfields of Alpha Centauri.

Crowley let his glass float in the air to use both hands to cup his angel’s soft face, leaning in. Aziraphale sighed into the kiss and moved his lips with content laziness, as did Crowley, gently nibbling at his bottom lip. The blue grass swished beneath them as they shifted playfully and snickered against each other’s necks.

“I’m so happy,” Crowley all but spluttered.

“So am I,” whispered Aziraphale, smiling blissfully at him. But something in Crowley’s eyes was moving. Aziraphale’s eyes asked if he was all right. And Crowley sniffed. He shifted and placed his head on his angel’s chest to think. But he could say it. He could bring himself to say it.

“I thought I would never return here,” he whispered. Aziraphale caressed him and listened as Crowley told him about putting stars into the sky. And then about his Fall. And then about going up to the surface after what had felt like an eternity, about the sun on his face and the wind in his hair. About the Garden.

“And you told me you gave away the sword,” he whispered, chuckling. Aziraphale pecked his forehead. “Do you want to wind me up with that again, my dear?” he asked tenderly.

Crowley shook his head (the best he could in his current position). “No. I just felt like telling you that… I Fell a second time that very moment.” He looked up at Aziraphale with loving eyes and wondered if he should continue.

He did. And said, “But to Fall from Hell is very different than to Fall from Heaven.” He propped himself up to look at Aziraphale, who concluded, “As much as you missed space, my dear – maybe it’s not about where you fell from. But where you landed.”

Aziraphale swallowed, locking their eyes. Was he being too selfish? He was bursting from love for his demon, bursting from adoration for the amber eyes, blushing furiously. Crowley’s eyes watered, his face distorted. Aziraphale pulled him down into a tender embrace. “My Crowley,” he smiled against his ear, placing a kiss right there, “I love you. So, so much.” Crowley whimpered as he sunk deeper and deeper into the pool of love around them and returned it with a hissed “I love you, too”. He smelled of wine and that sweet sulphur. He tasted of love. Aziraphale opened his eyes to find the universe floating above them in silent grace. When he closed them, the universe was still there.

_What a beautiful dream_  
_I think I'll stay a while_  
_Won't open my resting eyes_  
_Court of God in-between_  
_Twilight was rocking me_  
_Could not hear the symphony_  
_Is the grass of Eden overrated?_

“Do with me whatever you choose to do,” whispered Crowley. “I don’t care. I’m all yours.”

“And I am yours,” answered Aziraphale.

  
_Can you hear me now?_  
_I'm not going nowhere_  
_When you wake up_  
_I'll be around_

**Author's Note:**

> Rewatching Doctor Who lately made me pick up this wip again because everyone deserves a fucking happy ending. And by everyone, I mean Ten and Rose. I’m emo about Ten and Rose. Thank you for reading! ♡
> 
> edit: Going through you guys' bookmarks is so sweet, you write the cutest things in the notes! ;v; Thank you!!!


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